First and foremost, I hope everyone has been keeping safe through these difficult times! While the COVID pandemic has exposed colossal systemic vulnerabilities, I sincerely hope we can continue practicing compassion and empathy to collectively move forward. Please reach out if I can be of any assistance.

Now on to the blog post…

After spending a little over 2 years in M&E (monitoring and evaluation) practice in different parts of Africa, I moved to Geneva last fall to commence my doctoral degree. This move felt akin to starting a new chapter in my life, not just geographically, but also emotionally and intellectually. I was no longer surrounded by a group of friendly aid workers who understood the thrills of having one extra hour of electricity or finding that one new item in the market which made you feel a little closer to home. When in the “field” (which is a problematic term in itself, but we’ll get to that another time), the lifeworld of aid workers and the collective goal of creating incremental change through one’s work brings them together.

But getting out of the “aid world” and re-integrating into a western, academic setting poses some unexpected challenges. On the emotional front, I think a lot of it comes down to how my own identity has evolved over time. In hindsight, I feel that the 2 years I spent working and travelling in Africa were a deeply transformative part of my life. My confidence grew multifold, I learnt to seek comfort in starkly different places, confronted tough questions about my own privilege, learnt a great deal about my mental health and saw the world through a slightly different lens. But verbalizing all of this and more becomes difficult. For starters, I’m never sure if the listener is interested or even cares about any of this. While some take profound interest in my experiences, for others, it is a simply another data point. Afterall, there is no incentive to take a particular interest in what happens in a rather ignored part of the world or a person who chooses to spend time there….

On the intellectual front, it has been interesting to channelize work experience to develop a research topic. Essentially, academia values practical experiences in so far you can use them to answer a “puzzle”. However, the process of putting together these puzzle pieces seems to prioritize literature and theories over real-world experience, which I find quite unsettling. For instance, for every research idea that I pitch to academics which is rooted in past experiences, I am recommended literature to read. While I love reading, it has been frustrating on two levels. One, I never seem to know enough about the literature, philosophers or concepts, which makes me feel like I’m speaking some parochial language of the commoners. Two, while I have deep respect for academics, I am disillusioned by how they take a brazen approach of operating within their privileged and astute siloes without considering policy impact or the real world. Also, the high entry barrier in academia (in terms of knowing jargons, networking and learning to name-drop philosophers or concepts) often makes one feel like practical experiences have little value in this space. 

While foraying from practice to patios has been slightly challenging, it has also been rewarding. Afterall, the world needs more generalists who can shuttle between the worlds of academia and practice and mesh the best of both to create meaningful change….

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